


walk the line

by littleboxes



Series: tolkien time [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Actual Thief Bilbo Baggins, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crimes & Criminals, Gen, Theft, just a couple of thieves bein friends, pre canon flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29492994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/littleboxes
Summary: in which bilbo baggins is a thief, and everything is nori's fault
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins & Nori
Series: tolkien time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152785
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	walk the line

**Author's Note:**

> title is from what makes a good man? by the heavy  
> this fic spiraled from [this post](https://nonbinarywithaknife.tumblr.com/post/643248562227036160/lost-in-the-actually-a-burglar-bilbo-sauce-got)  
> " _he and nori fully know each other and have a professional rivalry so when the dwarves show up he's all flustered and shocked and then sees nori and just puffs up and yells YOU-! because OBVIOUSLY this is all nori's fault_ "

Bilbo blinks at the pile of dwarves in his doorway. They remain there, groaning and awkwardly trying to pick themselves up. He blinks again. Attempts to summon a thought, fails, and pinches himself.

When he catches sight of a familiar face, the sudden understanding snaps his world into sharp focus.

" _ **You**_ ," Bilbo snarls, and _oh_ how his father would be turning in his grave at the rudeness.

Nori, son of Lori, snaps his head up and his eyes go wide with surprise. The dwarves around them perk up. (Dwalin raises an eyebrow. That's a surprising amount of venom for such a small being. And one he'd been ready to write off as spineless, too.)

"Of course this was you, why did I ever think-," Bilbo doesn't start laughing, because if he laughs the hysteria at this utterly _absurd_ end to his evening might take him fully, "Really! Well, I must admit I hadn't thought you were capable of such creativity. Sending Gandalf to my door! Uninvited guests past suppertime! Were the smoke rings your idea too?"

He shakes his head, and claps his hands. "Ah, well! What's this for, then? Surely you're not still mad about that silly thing last year, I told you I was-"

Bilbo pauses as he remembers that it's not just the two them. Remembers why the name Dwalin seemed oddly familiar: he’s that guardsmen Nori was complaining about a while back. Interesting.

There are no longer any dwarves on his front mat, though most of them are staring at him from their scattered places in his front hall, now.

"I suppose you all ought to come in, then, and tell me, how _did_ he convince you to go along with this?"

Bilbo doesn't get an answer to his question before there's an iron grip on his arm and he's being dragged into his own study.

"Excuse you-! I'll thank you not to manhandle me in my own home, mannerless-"

Bilbo's grumblings are stopped by the odd look on Nori's face.

"This is where you live?" is not what he expects to come out of his mouth, and Bilbo blinks.

" _Obviously_ ," he says.

Nori leans back against the wall.

"How did you convince Tharkûn to give you a reference? To Oakenshield, of all people. I didn't think you had the constitution for dragons."

Every other question is wiped from Bilbo's mind, at that.

" _Dragons?_ " he chokes out.

"What on earth makes you think I want anything to do with any dragons?"

"Bilbo," Nori says, a smirk beginning to wind its way onto his face, "I'm _delighted_ to inform you that you're playing host to the Company to retake Erebor. And we were promised a burglar."

**_TA 2926; 15 years earlier_ **

Bilbo has been to Ered Luin before. Only once, and he hadn’t actually entered the city proper, then. Belladonna had been visiting a friend met during her travels and Bilbo had begged and begged to come along. He’d marveled at the stone, and boggled at the lack of greenery.

Now, he pays less attention to the stone and more to the people walking around him. There are some stares- he’s very obviously not a dwarf, with his wide feet and beardless face, but most people shrug and move along.

He drifts through the crowd, moving from market stall to stall. His eyes catch on a dwarf in the middle of the square. Their hair is in three tall points, and they move differently to the dwarves around them. Bilbo wouldn’t have noticed, except they move uncannily like a _hobbit_.

He smiles to himself. A challenge. Exactly what he’d come for. It’s all well and good to steal from hobbits who have never encountered a pickpocket in their life and distracted bree-men, but if Bilbo truly wants to polish his skill, he needs to move out in the world.

He meanders over to the dwarf, stepping lightly, and then trips.

“Oh! Goodness me, I am so sorry,” he says, slipping a hand into their coat. He feels a pouch, and as he moves out of their way, slips it onto their belt instead.

He has no way of knowing how badly they need that money, after all, and he’s doing quite fine for himself in the Shire.

They grunt an acknowledgement and are already walking away as Bilbo drifts back into the crowd, quietly triumphant. Of course, it’s still only morning! The market square will be busy for some time yet.

**_TA 2929; 12 years earlier_ **

Bilbo drops from the roof and the knife that embeds itself into the wall behind him is half-hearted at best. Bilbo looks at Nori pityingly.

“Is it that guard again?” he asks, settling himself on a barrel.

Nori thumps his head against the side of the alleyway. Or, Bilbo assumes that’s what that thump means. He’s not any better at seeing in the dark than any other hobbit, despite how often he works in it.

“I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna do it, Bilbo. He can’t get me on the thefts, so he’s taken to following me around, waiting for me to break a law!”

Bilbo _hmms_. “I take it that’s why you’re in Bree?”

Nori groans. “I had to bribe the gatesmen to get out, but aye. At this rate I’m going to miss Ori’s birthday. If I miss that, I actually _will_ kill him.”

Bilbo considers, and then claps his palms together soundlessly. “Well, I know what will cheer you up. I’ve actually been doing some scouting, and do you know one of the locals doesn’t lock their upper windows?”

Nori snorts. “Idiot. Tonight, then?”

Bilbo smiles. “Come on. Maybe the guards will respond quick enough that we’ll still be there when we arrive and you can taunt them. Valar bless them, they really do try.”

“Sure, and maybe I’ll take up with an elf and start living in trees,” Nori says, and Bilbo can hear the smile.

Bilbo jumps from the barrel to the wall to the roof, and Nori is close behind him.

“Well, you do like high places-”

“You did not just compare me to an elf-”

“ _And_ you’re slender for a dwarf-”

“ _You take that back-_ ” _  
_

**_TA 2940; 1 year earlier_ **

Nori sprints through the streets, darting between annoyed bystanders. His hair, braided down as it usually is when he’s working, is flying out behind him, and his weskit is rendered indecent with the number of scratches littering it. The group of guards chasing him is bigger than he’s ever managed, and they’re buzzing like angry bees.

This one wasn’t even his fault!

His eyes flick up to the shadow flitting from roof to roof, parallel to his own haphazard run. He says nothing, because wasting his breath right now is beyond stupid into death wish territory, but he thinks as viciously as he can, _Bilbo Baggins if we don’t get out of this, I will kill you myself_.


End file.
